1. The "something" you end up doing is reciting the entire Long John Silvers menu in order of price, from least to most expensive item. In Borat's voice.
  2. She laughs and then drives you home. But that's okay.
  3. You don't have sex that night or any night soon after.
  4. You spend the following years honing your sense of humor and interests, which is important because your personality will be your only currency since you are and will continue to be a short, pale, unhealthy looking man.
  5. It is on the strength of your personality that you will, one day, eventually find someone who will want to do the sex action with you.
  6. Congratulations! You 'win'!
  7. ...