10 OF THE BEST THINGS ABOUT LIVING WITH MY FIANCÉ
Inspired by @Lauren
- •She keeps the shotguns loadedWe keep a shotgun over the front and back door of the cabin as well as behind the driver's seat in the truck. And even if I fire them all empty while trying to hold off the pigs, rest assured that all of them will be loaded and ready again in no time. Love her to death.
- •She'll pick the leaches off of my backThe moonshine still is deep in the woods on the other side of a swamp. Going there and back, I always get covered in bloodsuckers. But when I get back, we each have a glass of moonshine and sing patriotic songs while she clears my body of the little beasts.
- •She is an amateur dentistWhich helps quite a bit, living as far out from civilization as we do. Just last week she removed one of my molars and we added it happily to my molar necklace!
- •She proofreads every draft of my manifestoWhich takes patience. I am on draft #451. This manifesto needs to be perfect. Soon. Soon.
- •She knows how to skin a bearSometimes I just don't feel like skinning the bear. But we need the skins for blankets, clothing and rugs. She always rises to the occasion.
- •She is an expert at global network data routingIn order to make sure Smoky and the Feds cannot find us, we need to utilize very secure email. She is always up to bounce our messages safely off of at least 15 countries between us and our email recipients.
- •She knows how to align solar panels for maximum efficiencyOff-the-grid living is hard when there is no possibility of spare parts. She knows how to keep our black Internet network up and running, even on cloudy days.
- •She uses the KonMari Method to organize our pipe-bomb-making suppliesPipes in one bin, wicks in another. Never more or less than we need. She is my sweet love honey!!
- •She can make a bong out of anything!Just yesterday, she hollowed out the skull of a U. S. marshall. We toked up using the skull, got the munchies and ate bald eagle jerky. Romantic evening.
- •She can apply an amazing field dressing, even under heavy fireI took two bullets in the gut just the other day. I'm healing up just fine thanks to her loving care.
- •Just kidding, The List App followers! I do not have a fiancé. But this list is about my "dream" fiancé.