I was at my son's third grade open house today. And now I will compare how his classroom and school is different than my classroom and school. This will be so the funnest for you and for me.
  1. Charlie has a Smart Board. I...had no analog to this at all. There were no electronics in my classroom of any kind. Unless you count a chicken egg incubator. Okay and we had light bulbs.
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  2. Charlie has a white board. I had a chalkboard. And you considered it a privilege if the teacher sent you outside to pound chalk out of the erasers on the brick walls.
  3. Charlie sits at a table with 4-5 other kids and it is his peer group and they collaborate on projects. I had a desk and the top opened up and you put your junk inside. Not your JUNK junk. Your school junk. And if you talked out of turn, you had to stay inside during recess and put your head down.
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  4. Charlie learns English AND Spanish. Haha, the kids in my school had all they could handle with just one language (which, to be clear, was English).
  5. Charlie has fliers on the wall about bullying. I had a bully named Ray.
  6. Charlie has books and posters and lessons about diversity. I had a class full of white kids and like one Hmong kid that I wish I had spent time getting to know.
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  7. Charlie has a drawer full of iPads each filled with educational apps. I had a drawer full of abacuses. I'm not shitting you. We had abacuses.
  8. Charlie has a computer lab. I had one computer, an Apple ][. It was in the Library Media Center and you could sign up to use it for an hour. By the time I left grade school, they had maybe 6 computers they could wheel around on carts. None of which had hard drives.
  9. Charlie is bombarded all year long with standardized tests. I don't remember taking any tests. Maybe there was a test. If so, I was always mad taking them because my first name always got cut off at CHRISTOPH.
  10. Charlie has a million books right in the classroom. I don't remember having any books actually in the room. We were taken to the school library once a week, though, and we could check out a couple.
  11. Charlie has lots of plastic and particleboard stuff. Like this plastic chair. We had wood and metal stuff. Actually, maybe we had fiberglass chairs.
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  12. The fuck are all these tennis balls doing on Charlie's chair legs? Okay, so Charlie has tennis balls on chair legs. I did not have tennis balls on chair legs. I also had streaky, scratched classroom floors, I guess.
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  13. Charlie has a teacher that looks 17 years old. All the 3rd grade teachers look this young. I had an old lady teacher. I think all of the teachers in my school were middle-aged or older, veteran teachers. My school had some male teachers. I don't think there is one male teacher in Charlie's school.
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  14. Charlie apparently has a copy machine. I had a room full of full-time scriveners. Nah, jay kay. But I think maybe there was a mimeograph machine in the principal's secretary's office or something.
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  15. Charlie writes stories about himself and is asked to think about himself and feel his feelings and self-express and be creative. I ate paste. Lots of paste.
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