All of these have happened to me. Add some of yours so I feel better about myself.
  1. When you pull on the PUSH side of a door because there is inexplicably a pull handle on that side, too.
  2. Or when you push on the PULL side and walk right into the door and there's a loud bang and everyone in the coffee shop looks at you.
  3. Or when you push on the PULL side and walk right into the door and there's a loud bang and everyone in the coffee shop looks at you as your iced Americano explodes onto your shirt.
  4. When you open the door to a public bathroom just as someone else is opening it from the other side. And both of you instinctively say "Oop!"
  5. When you mean to text a female client contact "just a sec" and text "just a sex" instead because C is too close to X goddammit.
  6. When you double fold the toilet paper and your fingers go through anyway, right into your poopy butt.
  7. When you're on a cell phone where there's a delay and you keep accidentally talking over the most important person on the call.
  8. When you mispronounce a simple word or someone's name in front of people you respect.
  9. When you think your coffee cup is full but it's empty and much lighter in weight than you expected so you clink the cup against your teeth and it is loud and hurts.
  10. When you ask someone a question that they literally just answered a moment before and everyone knows you were being a dick and not paying attention.
  11. When you walk past your neighbor out with her pleasant-looking dog and go to pet the dog and it barks and pulls your neighbor and she almost falls over.
  12. When you walk past a different neighbor and wave and say HELLO as you pass each other and she COMPLETELY IGNORES YOU
  13. When you come prepared for a conference call and start speaking and you realize you are talking to a different client than you thought you were and are thus not as prepared as you thought.
  14. When you're having lunch with a client and you accidentally spit a little food into their food and they don't notice and eat it.
  15. When you are sleepy and dispense too much ice in your cup and the ice clatters loudly all over the place and you step on a piece of ice and sort of half fall into the pantry and crush your only can of Pringles. 😢
  16. When you are on a date with someone from NYC and somehow 9/11 comes up and it turns out many of her friends died because they worked at that investment firm at the top of one of the towers and she has to leave the date early because she can't stop sobbing.
  17. When you are seated on a small plane next to a very obese lady who literally cannot fit into her narrow seat and you say it is ok to lift the armrest to give her more room and then for an hour her leg overlaps your entire leg and she apologizes the whole flight and she needs to lift the leg with both hands when you need to get up to pee...
  18. ...and again when you come back so you can put your leg back under hers again.
  19. When your best friend and his sportsing pals tease you about never playing basketball with them and so you finally do and the first time someone passes you the ball you fall down and fracture a finger.