BOYFRIENDS/LOVERS MY MOM HAD WHILE I WAS GROWING UP THAT I REMEMBER

This isn't a joke. But is it TMI?
  1. Jerry
    He was my dad's best friend and work colleague. She hooked up with him to get even with my dad, who was cheating on her with several women.
  2. Barney
    A really small/short/frail/weird guy she met on AOL. He moved cross country to live near my mom after only meeting her a few times. Pretty creepy, right? He had cystic fibrosis.
  3. Ken
    All I remember is he was stinky and looked like Kurt Vonnegut.
  4. Ed
    Nice guy. Divorced and had a daughter my age. He looked like a lumberjack.
  5. Matt
    They dated for years. He was like 14 years younger. Smoked pot. Played with me and my bro. Often had no shirt on. His little brother was a janitor at my high school. Had a funny laugh and John Lennon glasses.
  6. Richard
    A magician. Met mom on AOL. They had phone sex that I could hear through our house's thin walls. He made a bunch of illegal copies of video games for me to play on my Commodore 64.
  7. Paul
    Lived in Florida. Sent mom Polaroid selfies of his penis that I accidentally saw. Mom visited him for a weekend of sex and cocaine.
  8. Rowdy
    An 18 year old Eagle Scout in my Boy Scout troop. They met at the award ceremony where he earned Eagle Scout and had a fling for a few weeks.
  9. Don
    They met when she was assistant manager at a convenience store and he delivered the store's mud rugs and bathroom towels. She married him and they're still married. He is nice and just sent me a care package with venison sausage in it from a deer he shot.
  10. My Dad
    Yeah, they hooked up a few times, too, over the years.