BOYFRIENDS/LOVERS MY MOM HAD WHILE I WAS GROWING UP THAT I REMEMBER
This isn't a joke. But is it TMI?
- •JerryHe was my dad's best friend and work colleague. She hooked up with him to get even with my dad, who was cheating on her with several women.
- •BarneyA really small/short/frail/weird guy she met on AOL. He moved cross country to live near my mom after only meeting her a few times. Pretty creepy, right? He had cystic fibrosis.
- •KenAll I remember is he was stinky and looked like Kurt Vonnegut.
- •EdNice guy. Divorced and had a daughter my age. He looked like a lumberjack.
- •MattThey dated for years. He was like 14 years younger. Smoked pot. Played with me and my bro. Often had no shirt on. His little brother was a janitor at my high school. Had a funny laugh and John Lennon glasses.
- •RichardA magician. Met mom on AOL. They had phone sex that I could hear through our house's thin walls. He made a bunch of illegal copies of video games for me to play on my Commodore 64.
- •PaulLived in Florida. Sent mom Polaroid selfies of his penis that I accidentally saw. Mom visited him for a weekend of sex and cocaine.
- •RowdyAn 18 year old Eagle Scout in my Boy Scout troop. They met at the award ceremony where he earned Eagle Scout and had a fling for a few weeks.
- •DonThey met when she was assistant manager at a convenience store and he delivered the store's mud rugs and bathroom towels. She married him and they're still married. He is nice and just sent me a care package with venison sausage in it from a deer he shot.
- •My DadYeah, they hooked up a few times, too, over the years.