CHILD COMEBACKS TO PARENT CLICHES
I lifted these all from George Carlin because they're hilarious. But suggest more. How did you talk back to YOUR parents?
- •Don't talk back to me!You're teaching me a language, aren't you? Are you saying no more practicing?
- •Don't you understand English?Not fully. No.
- •How many times do I have to tell you...?Six!
- •You just wait until your father gets home.Hey, hot shit, that motherfucker never comes home. Thanks, ma, I'll see you later.
- •Can't you get that through your thick skull?It keeps bouncing off my thinking cap!
- •I'll wash your mouth out with soap!I'll blow bubbles out my ass!
- •That's the thanks I get.That's. The thanks. You get.
- •I have tried to be both a mother AND a father to you.Go fuck yourself!
- •I wish you were never born. (Everybody's parents say this, right?)I wish that too.Suggested by @gwcoffey
- •I hope you have a child just like you.Awesome. I am totally coolSuggested by @jillbasinger
- •This will hurt me more than it'll hurt you.Then why don't you do us both a favor and just not hurt either of us?
- •Are you listening to me?What?
- •I thought we agreed you'd take a bath!No. You said I'd take a bath. I said nothing.