- •I see you are watching pornographic material. That's just fine! May I suggest some videos for you based on your Facebook Likes?
- •It looks like you have started and deleted that breakup email five times now. May I suggest a way to word your letter that will let her down easily?
- •It seems like you are starting a Powerpoint presentation. Would you like me to include some meaningless but impressive-looking charts?
- •It looks like you are using Google instead of Bing, you little asshole.
- •It looks like your Word document has crashed and the auto-recover feature has failed. Would you like to see five animated photographs of kittens?
- •Internet Explorer is not currently your default browser. Would you either like to make Internet Explorer your default browser, or would you like to make Internet Explorer your default browser?
- •It appears you have received the "MSXML.dll OUT OF MEM I/O PROC MX00.00.00.C" error. Do you happen to know what this error means?
- •Would you like to download a library of Clippy skins in order to dress and accessorize your Clippy Assistant? The download is only 999,999 TB.
- •It appears you have chosen the option to disable Clippy. For your protection and security, Clippy will be reenabled in 1 seconds and the Disable Clippy feature will be disabled.
- •Your Windows Update progress bar has not moved past "2% Complete" for 47 minutes. In order to expedite this update, I will now uninstall Google Chrome and iTunes.
- •It looks like Office 360 is not available now. Remember when you could do your word processing without an Internet connection? Those really were the days!
- •It appears you are updating your Microsoft Xbox Gold account password. In order to verify your identity, please tickle me where my clip don't shine.
- •It looked like the Microsoft Present Tense Language Pack had stopped responding. Had you wanted me to reinstalled the Microsoft Present Tense Language Pack?
- •It looks like you are trying to make a Microsoft Excel pivot table. That is so complicated! Wouldn't you rather play Minesweeper instead??
- •Clippy will need help assisting you with that! Now installing the Clippy Personal Assistant Clippy Personal Assistant add-on!
- •I'm sorry but Windows does not seem to be able to load into Safe Mode. Would you like me to reboot Windows into Very Dangerous Mode?
- •I apologize, but Clippy cannot Clippy your Clippy at the moment. Would you like Clippy to Clippy Clippy Clippy on your next Clippy of Clippy? Clippy.dll?