CLIPPY 📎

So helpful
  1. I see you are watching pornographic material. That's just fine! May I suggest some videos for you based on your Facebook Likes?
  2. It looks like you have started and deleted that breakup email five times now. May I suggest a way to word your letter that will let her down easily?
  3. It seems like you are starting a Powerpoint presentation. Would you like me to include some meaningless but impressive-looking charts?
  4. It looks like you are using Google instead of Bing, you little asshole.
  5. It looks like your Word document has crashed and the auto-recover feature has failed. Would you like to see five animated photographs of kittens?
  6. Internet Explorer is not currently your default browser. Would you either like to make Internet Explorer your default browser, or would you like to make Internet Explorer your default browser?
  7. It appears you have received the "MSXML.dll OUT OF MEM I/O PROC MX00.00.00.C" error. Do you happen to know what this error means?
  8. Would you like to download a library of Clippy skins in order to dress and accessorize your Clippy Assistant? The download is only 999,999 TB.
  9. It appears you have chosen the option to disable Clippy. For your protection and security, Clippy will be reenabled in 1 seconds and the Disable Clippy feature will be disabled.
  10. Your Windows Update progress bar has not moved past "2% Complete" for 47 minutes. In order to expedite this update, I will now uninstall Google Chrome and iTunes.
  11. It looks like Office 360 is not available now. Remember when you could do your word processing without an Internet connection? Those really were the days!
  12. It appears you are updating your Microsoft Xbox Gold account password. In order to verify your identity, please tickle me where my clip don't shine.
  13. It looked like the Microsoft Present Tense Language Pack had stopped responding. Had you wanted me to reinstalled the Microsoft Present Tense Language Pack?
  14. It looks like you are trying to make a Microsoft Excel pivot table. That is so complicated! Wouldn't you rather play Minesweeper instead??
  15. Clippy will need help assisting you with that! Now installing the Clippy Personal Assistant Clippy Personal Assistant add-on!
  16. I'm sorry but Windows does not seem to be able to load into Safe Mode. Would you like me to reboot Windows into Very Dangerous Mode?
  17. I apologize, but Clippy cannot Clippy your Clippy at the moment. Would you like Clippy to Clippy Clippy Clippy on your next Clippy of Clippy? Clippy.dll?
  18. Clippy?