DROWNING

A poem by me that can be read from first line to last, and from last line to first. Try it both ways.
  1. wry-smiled, with thoughts of your visit with me on the brain
  2. I imagine you, face-up, afloat, on a raft, in a lake,
  3. filling my eyes and the room with bright, cold light;
  4. a blue, Winter-morning sun peeps above bud-less lilac branches,
  5. and your girlfriend; I'm by the frosty, living room window now,
  6. your sophisticated blazer, your ability to compose verse
  7. the city puts up each December; I'd quietly admire your beard,
  8. maybe even toke on a joint, make fun of the tired, cheesy angels
  9. we'd walk down the main drag of our hometown, shiver,
  10. I was doing well at college; we'd discuss your professor job;
  11. read poetry, be pretentious together (as always); you'd ask if
  12. we'd planned to meet at our dive-y diner, smoke, drink coffee,
  13. down the stairs, crying now, loudly; I haven't seen you since summer;
  14. I gag, then puke, then scramble through it, scoot on the butt
  15. (it's Christmas break); in the hall, on the red, shag rug
  16. of my childhood bedroom where I've returned for the week
  17. and start to crawl on all fours toward the open doorway
  18. trip on my Gladstone suitcase, fall hard, rug-burn both elbows,
  19. I yelp and drop my smart phone when I hear you've drowned,