(Ass-hair is first, but that's probably TMI)
  1. Striped boxers
  2. An espresso-colored, leather Crate and Barrel sofa
  3. A mustard-colored shag rug from Wal-mart
  4. Bamboo top flooring
  5. Plank plywood sub-flooring
  6. Sprayed-on foam insulation
  7. Joists
  8. The air inside the crawl space
  9. A layer of coarse gravel
  10. The concrete foundation
  11. Humus
  12. Topsoil
  13. Subsoil
  14. Bedrock
  15. Mostly a bunch of slightly weathered rocks (the parent material)
  16. The Carolina terrane
    Mostly lightly metamorphosed, igneous rocks
  17. The rest of the continental crust of the North American Plate
  18. The asthenosphere
  19. The upper mantle
  20. The lower mantle
  21. The liquid (outer) iron core
  22. The solid (inner iron core)
  23. Dante and Virgil, on their tour of The Inferno