HOW TO FOLD AN ORIGAMI BOAT

Don't mind me, I'm just trying out the new photo-swiping feature of @list!
  1. 1.
    Start with the most whimsical piece of 8.5 x 11" paper you can find. This piece is a print of an actual unicorn fingerprint!
  2. 2.
    Fold that puppy in half.
  3. 3.
    Fold down the top fold corners like this. Are you making a hat?? NO YOU ARE NOT
  4. 4.
    Fold up the bottom thing like this. In Japanese, the word for "bottom thing" is bototori.
  5. 5.
    Flip over and fold up the other bototori. Are you making a hat? NO YOU ARE STILL NOT
  6. 6.
    Tuck the little flappy corners (call "flapoji" in Japanese) into each other.
  7. 7.
    Pick that shit up and pull the two corners of the triangle together til...
  8. 8.
    It is a square again! A miracle!
  9. 9.
    Now fold one of the flapporoonies up.
  10. 10.
    Flip it over and fold the other flapporoonie up. It's a TRIANGLE AGAIN OMG I AM A JESUS
  11. 11.
    Now you reach in and open it's "mouth"...
  12. 12.
    ...and press the two triangle-y corners together again...
  13. 13.
    ... to get an ever more miraculously-small square.
  14. 14.
    Okay. Now pick up the square and pull these two wingy things outward. It will be like a blooming flower and you will swoon.
  15. 15.
    And when the wingy things go no further out, press that effer flat so it looks thusly.
  16. 16.
    Push two fingers gentle into the boat's short side (known as the "butt") and spread them outward a bit.
  17. 17.
    And sort of stretch out the long side, too, until you have this.
  18. 18.
    This is your beautiful, zen-like boat.
  19. 19.
    It is not water proof.
  20. 20.
    It will not float.
  21. 21.
    It is not a hat. Except maybe for a pirate cat. Meowrrrrrrr!
  22. 22.
    But it is a pretty boat and you did such a good job and you are now very well-liked by your friends and relations.
  23. 23.
    ⚓️