Don't mind me, I'm just trying out the new photo-swiping feature of @list!
  1. Start with the most whimsical piece of 8.5 x 11" paper you can find. This piece is a print of an actual unicorn fingerprint!
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  2. Fold that puppy in half.
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  3. Fold down the top fold corners like this. Are you making a hat?? NO YOU ARE NOT
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  4. Fold up the bottom thing like this. In Japanese, the word for "bottom thing" is bototori.
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  5. Flip over and fold up the other bototori. Are you making a hat? NO YOU ARE STILL NOT
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  6. Tuck the little flappy corners (call "flapoji" in Japanese) into each other.
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  7. Pick that shit up and pull the two corners of the triangle together til...
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  8. It is a square again! A miracle!
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  9. Now fold one of the flapporoonies up.
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  10. Flip it over and fold the other flapporoonie up. It's a TRIANGLE AGAIN OMG I AM A JESUS
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  11. Now you reach in and open it's "mouth"...
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  12. ...and press the two triangle-y corners together again...
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  13. ... to get an ever more miraculously-small square.
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  14. Okay. Now pick up the square and pull these two wingy things outward. It will be like a blooming flower and you will swoon.
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  15. And when the wingy things go no further out, press that effer flat so it looks thusly.
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  16. Push two fingers gentle into the boat's short side (known as the "butt") and spread them outward a bit.
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  17. And sort of stretch out the long side, too, until you have this.
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  18. This is your beautiful, zen-like boat.
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  19. It is not water proof.
  20. It will not float.
  21. It is not a hat. Except maybe for a pirate cat. Meowrrrrrrr!
  22. But it is a pretty boat and you did such a good job and you are now very well-liked by your friends and relations.
  23. ⚓️