JOB IDEAS FOR JARED FOGLE

For after he gets out of prison for possessing and distributing child porn, which he just pled guilty to
  1. Personal Assistant to Bill Cosby
  2. Sandwich Artist at Quiznos
  3. Spokesman for a fucking gravel pit
  4. Some kind of dirty job on that Dirty Jobs TV show
  5. Pickle bucket drummer at a subway stop
  6. Minesweeper
  7. Manure farmer
  8. Dirt farmer
  9. Medical research in which he is submerged in a water tank full of leeches and lampreys
  10. Slime farmer
  11. Rodeo clown
  12. Human punching bag
  13. Ass hat
  14. Host body for an alien from the ALIEN movie franchise