Because reading takes too much time away from refreshing your social media feeds. FYI: Spoilers.
  1. Holden Caulfield, a 16-year-old upper-class Manhattanite, is convalescing at an asylum in California after having a nervous breakdown. The rest of the novel is Holden telling someone (A doctor? His counselor?) the story of his last couple days prior to the breakdown.
  2. So he tells how he is standing on a hill near the football game at his private boarding school, Pencey Prep. He lost some fencing equipment. He has just been expelled (he has been expelled before from other schools). He goes to see his history teacher who balls him out for not applying himself and for writing crappy papers.
  3. Holden goes back to his dorm and talks to his dorm mate, Ackley. Holden argues with his roommate, Stradlater, who punches Holden in the face. Holden packs and gets on a train to New York City. He bullshits a lady on the train. He plans to stay in the city for a few days before going home to break the news of his latest expulsion to his parents.
  4. He is sad about his dead younger brother, Allie. He checks into a hotel. He wears a red hunting hat backwards. He dances with some tourists. He hires a prostitute but doesn't fuck her. Her pimp roughs Holden up and takes some of Holden's dough and hits Holden's penis.
  5. He sleeps and calls his old crush, Sally Hayes. He has breakfast and talks to some nuns. He sees a play with Sally and then goes ice skating with her. He pisses her off and she leaves. Holden sees a Christmas show and then gets drunk.
  6. Holden worries about the ducks in Central Park pond. He breaks a record he bought for his little sister Phoebe.
  7. Holden thinks about wax eskimos in a museum. He sneaks into his parents's apartment and talks to Phoebe. He says he's going to run away. He cries. He imagines catching kids before they fall off some crazy cliff. Phoebe finds out Holden got expelled again and gets pissed.
  8. Holden sneaks out and goes to see a former teacher named Mr. Antolini. They drink. Holden goes to sleep and wakes up to catch Antolini patting his head. Holden freaks and leaves.
  9. Holden sort of wanders around for a while at dawn. He decides to run away. He finds Phoebe at her school and tells her about running away. She wants to come, too. He decides not to run away. He takes her to the zoo. She rides a carousel. Holden feels like he is disappearing.
  10. Holden tells how after that he went home and got sick and went out west to get better. His brother D. B., a writer, visits him sometimes. Holden says he's starting at another school in the Fall.
  11. Holden misses everybody, even Ackley.
  12. The End