MY SEMI-USELESS SUPER POWERS
Hat tip to others who have already written these like @zoe
- •I walk really fastI usually walk faster than just about anybody that I walk with. Exception being @jfout who is a regular Speedy Gonzalez.
- •I can navigate through a crowdLike at a busy airport or train terminal or a crowded mall. I consider it a challenge to weave quickly in between people without crashing into any of them.
- •Gift-givingPeople have told me that I'm good at coming up with thoughtful gifts.
- •Lining things upI'm great at lining up my shoes, my sunglasses, the stuff on my bathroom counter. And your stuff. I'll move your stuff so you can't find it and then line in up all nice.
- •MonologuingIf you need someone to go on and on telling a rambling, repetitive story, I'm your guy.
- •Accumulating technologyDon't ask me how many iPhones, iPads and computers I have because even I am not sure. I also have useless things like Hue light bulbs in my living room that can make different colors of light. I can even make them flash so you feel like you are in a submarine that is under attack and about to make a deep dive. I also have a Nest thermostat which is useless for my lifestyle but OMG I can change my house's temperature from my phone. And i have Dropcams all over my house.
- •Biting fingernailsI'm great at biting mine and, if you like, I will bite all of yours off, too.
- •Taking on too many projects at onceIf there's anything that you need me to do for you, tell me and I will help and spend a lot of time working on it even though I probably already have enough things to do.
- •Recommending a book / Accumulating booksI definitely have not read all my books (and own more than I'll ever read), but I'm great at buying them. I've also been told that I give good recommendations based on other things you've read and like, but I'll recommend you a book even if you didn't ask me to.
- •Taking care of sick peopleAre you sick? Did you have a cold? Well, come on over and I will bring you your favorite tea or a blanket or a heating pad or medicine. I will kiss you on the forehead and tuck you in and help you get better. Which is all great, but I'm not sure how much of this has to do with negative attachment issues from my childhood.