OCEAN'S ELEVEN PREQUEL IDEAS

  1. Ocean's Zero
    Danny has not been born yet. Yet he somehow manages to rook his placenta out of a ten spot. He is a natural conman. Errr, con-fetus. There is a chase scene out of his mother's birth canal.
  2. Ocean's One
    Young Danny Ocean, age 7, swindles himself in a high-stakes game of playground marbles.
  3. Ocean's Two
    Now Danny has a bridge partner and he cons a bunch of octogenarians out of their Social Security checks at the Sunset Acres retirement community.
  4. Ocean's Three
    Danny and two accomplices figure out how to make video arcade games play indefinitely on just one quarter and so the young criminals play and play and play until they get caught and then there's an epic chase scene on Radio Flyer wagons. But by then they've gotten away with HOURS of game play they didn't pay for.
  5. Ocean's Four
    Ocean, now in middle school, rigs the lunchtime four square competition, and wins tens and tens of dollars off his unsuspecting classmates while also making off with the assistant principal's girlfriend.
  6. Ocean's Five
    Danny meets Rusty, who works at the local McDonalds, and the two plan (with three other McD's employees) a city-wide scheme to steal all the frozen chicken nuggets. The plan works, and they are rich with processed chicken, but they forget to steal honey mustard sauce, Rusty's favorite, and so the movie ends tragically.
  7. Ocean's Six
    Danny and five accomplices visit Six Flags Great America and lose their lunches on The Demon rollercoaster. To get even, they steal the entire The Demon rollercoaster, piece by piece, over several years, while posing as ride operators. Possible corporate sponsorship from Six Flags Great America.
  8. Ocean's Seven
    Danny and a team of six altar boys convince seven priests to commit The Seven Deadly Sins for a grand total of forty-nine sins committed. Danny later confesses, distracting the priests, while the alter boys get away with all the tithe money, angering God.
  9. Ocean's Eight
    Ocean and seven world-champion four square players dress like awkward middle-schoolers and travel back in time to the Ocean's Four timeframe, set up *two* four square teams and swindle younger Danny out of all his winnings. Older Danny has a 3-way with younger Danny and the assistant principal's girlfriend. Older Danny gives younger Danny a sports almanac from the future (and a hickey).
  10. Ocean's Nine
    Danny travels to Middle Earth and terrorizes Hobbiton with his eight other grifter-Nazgûl while also managing to steal all of the hobbits' finest pipe weed after traversing a laser field.
  11. Ocean's Ten
    This is a bowling movie and the "Ten" refers to the ten bowling team members AS WELL AS to the ten bowling pins because of the cleverness of the screenwriter. Danny recruits Basher to invent a new kind of bowling ball wax that helps you bowl a strike every time. Saul Bloom is introduced, who fakes a heart attack while Danny's bowling team makes off with many ten pound bowling balls. Some of the "super wax" gets spilled and comedy hi-jinx ensues. Danny ends up in prison for plot continuity.