1. Blow leaves around with leaf blowers
  2. Show one another pictures of themselves
  3. De-lint something with a lint brush
  4. Mow grass
  5. Rake leaves
  6. Show one another pictures of their food
  7. Water grass
  8. Take pictures of themselves
  9. Dust
  10. Have grass lawns at all
  11. Use selfie sticks
  12. Feel anxiety over things that always seem trivial in hindsight
  13. Chemically-treat grass
  14. Install/employ bug-zappers
  15. Root for one sports team over another
  16. Fight over political borders
  17. Fight over which God is the right God
  18. Get vanity license plates
  19. Buy $17,000 Apple Watches
  20. Fill closets and attics with stuff they don't need
  21. Measure their own "social capital"
  22. Expose themselves to the sun on purpose
  23. Take seashells home from a beach
  24. Artificially illuminate the fronts of their houses