PRODUCT IDEAS

  1. Slim James
    Slim Jims for more formal occasions
  2. Twankies
    Twinkies big enough for a man to have sex with
  3. Gin and Tunic
    A cocktail you can wear to religious functions
  4. Kit-Kut
    Really sharp Kit-kats
  5. Honda Civic Unrest
    A good car to drive during a coup d'é·tat or revolution
  6. Porange
    Just so we finally have something that rhymes with "orange"
  7. Kin😀
    A little more than "kin" but less than "kind"
  8. Coca-colon
    A fizzy soft drink that you can use to give yourself an enema
  9. Velveeta Velvet
    Processed, fake velvet
  10. Condrums
    Condoms that make conga drum sounds while you ride the bologna pony
  11. Facial issues
    Newspapers and magazines that are delivered digitally and backwards to the surface of your face which you can read in the bathroom mirror while you brush your teeth
  12. Blach
    The opposite of bleach. Turns fabric totally black.
  13. Soylent Blue
    A protein-rich protein bar made out of Smurfs
  14. Multimultivitamin
    A vitamin that contains 15 other multivitamins
  15. Unruler
    A tool for measuring the incorrect length of things
  16. Wice
    Like ice, but warmer
  17. Computerette
    A female computer...for girls!
  18. AutoUncorrect
    Typo-creation technology
  19. Humobot
    A very robot-like human
  20. Waughter
    A female child you can drink
  21. Xbox Dead
    A 100% offline gaming console
  22. Yogart
    Yogurt to eat during downward dog
  23. Czeching Account
    A bank account for a Czechoslovakian
  24. A sporkoon
    A eating utensil that is halfway between a spork and a spoon
  25. Salivat
    A container to store your saliva
  26. Cigarettor
    A male cigarette
  27. Irish tape
    Scotch tape made in Ireland
  28. Femimist
    A fragrance for feminists
    Suggested by   @jentin