But I still love you if you are into any of these things xoxo
  1. Home ownership
    American Dream my ass
  2. Car ownership
    Worst investment ever
  3. Pets
    Dog poop. Cat barf. No thanks.
  4. House plants
    Even more stuff to be responsible for
  5. Saving the planet
    The planet is fine. The PEOPLE ARE FUCKED.
  6. Reality television
  7. Logos on stuff
    If I could take all logos off my stuff like my Prius and my MacBook, I would
  8. Religion
    Science FTW
  9. Harry Potter
    Derivative crap
  10. Gummy candy
    It's like eating plastic
  11. Wine
    Who has time to figure out wine types, regions, grapes and vintages? It's either "yummy" or "not yummy" for me.
  12. Watching sports
    I'd rather eat an angry porcupine
  13. Kittens
    Fuck kittens
  14. Reddit
  15. The Kardashians
  16. IPhone games
  17. Window-shopping
  18. Shopping in actual stores
    Amazon FTW
  19. Buying Local
    Outdated economics
  20. eBooks
    I have a Kindle, but I'll always adore paper books best of all
  21. Music streaming services
  22. All-you-can-eat buffets
  23. Accessorizing
  24. Tattoos/piercings
  25. Apple Watch
    The first Apple product I couldn't give a damn about. See also: Accessorizing.
  26. Being someone's employee
  27. Neighborhoods with Home Owner's Associations
    Fuck that
  28. Tumblr
  29. Facebook
    I have an account but. Meh.
  30. Mad Men
  31. Game of Thrones
    Derivative crap
  32. Celebrity gossip
  33. Guacamole
  34. Seeing live music shows
  35. Patriotism
  36. iPhone cases
    Who cares if it gets scratched. Also: do you think Steve Jobs had an iPhone case?
  37. Summer
    I prefer the Fall
  38. Podcasts
    I just never have time
  39. Instagram