***All quotes come from an uncorrected galley proof of THE WINDSOR BOOK OF QUOTATIONS that I just received from a publishing friend. All of these are amazing and unbelievable.
  1. "I'm all for renewable energy, but fuck seals. I would not be sad if every God damn seal on earth was turned into lamp oil."
    —Elon Musk, 1992 (Musk's father was severely injured by a seal on a trip to Greenland when Musk was 11)
  2. "Microsoft product design is shit. But Bill Gates himself is a svelte, sexy man."
    —Steve Jobs, 1994. In an interview with ROLLING STONE Magazine.
  3. "Dear sister, I would allow President Andrew Jackson to deflower me if it should so ever strike his fancy—the gentleman stokes the coals of my fire like no other!—"
    Emily Dickinson, 1845. From the poet's recently-discovered private letters, soon to be published for the first time by Simon & Schuster.
  4. "There is nothing I enjoy more than spraying a field full of enemy soldiers with a well-oiled Gatling gun!"
    —Mahatma Gandhi, 1886 (who was a young soldier at the time, fighting in Kashmir.)
  5. "Almost no one knows this, but Bugs Bunny is based on a former lover of mine that I met once upon a time at a nightclub in Los Angeles."
    —Chuck Jones, 1960. From his biography, THE LOONY TUNER.
  6. "I want to save them because I know it is the right thing to do for Mother Earth, but adult male gorillas are extremely annoying."
    Jane Goodall, 2012. Interview on Slate.com.
  7. "I have never eaten a hamburger."
    —Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald's fast food chain. From his book, GRINDING IT OUT: THE MAKING OF MCDONALD'S (1968).
  8. "I've had sex no less than fifty times in the Chewbacca suit!"
    —Peter Mayhew, 2002. Actor who played Chewbacca in the STAR WARS movie franchise.
  9. "Listen, Goofy is a dog. A tall bipedal dog. A tall, bipedal, attractive, amoral dog."
    Walt Disney, 1933. In an interview with LOOK MAGAZINE.
  10. "I'm done writing about Harry, I'm afraid. But I've begun outlining a new series centered around Dudley Dursley!"
    —J. K. Rowling, 2014. Interview with The Guardian.
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  16. Actually, I made all of these up. Don't believe everything you read on the Internet.