The Conversation I Just Had With My AirBNB Host's Young Daughter: A Play In One Act 🎭

(Late afternoon in Greenport, New York)
  1. (After emerging from his car after a long-day's work, CHRIS meets a little GIRL, who is playing nearby. Her MOM weeds a row of flowers.)
  2. GIRL
  3. (Running up to Chris)
  4. Well who are you? I'm Carrie and I'm four and a half! One two three four and a half!
  5. CHRIS
  6. (Laughs and shuts the car door)
  7. Haha! Well hello, Carrie, I'm Chris and I'm forty-three and three quarters. Ten twenty thirty forty-three and three quarters!
  8. GIRL
  9. (Shakes her head sternly)
  10. No you are not! You are also four!
  11. CHRIS
  12. I am? How do you figure that??
  13. GIRL
  14. (Points to Chris's shoes, knees, shoulders and head, respectively, while counting)
  15. One, two, three, four! YOU ARE FOUR!
  16. CHRIS
  17. Okay, okay, I'm four, just like you.
  18. GIRL
  19. Good, we're both four. Well okay bye I'm going inside to play "kitchen cook" now BYE! Mom, he's four, too! We're all four and a half years old!!
  20. (Girl runs off into the house)
  21. MOM
  22. (Stands and brushes dirt from her gardening gloves)
  23. She's a nut. And anyway, she isn't four, she's six!
  24. CHRIS
  25. (Laughs)
  26. MOM
  27. (Laughs)
  28. GIRL
  29. (Shouts from within)
  30. MOM I AM NOT SIX I AM FOUR DO YOU NOT KNOW WHEN I AM BORN??
  31. (Curtain)
  32. 🎭