(This is your ninth sick day this semester. It's getting pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If you go for ten, you're probably going to have to barf up a lung. So you better make this one count.)
  1. Clammy hands
    The key to faking out the parents. It's a good non-specific symptom. Be a big believer in it.
  2. 🚫 Phony fever
    A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock. But, if you've got a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school.
  3. Fake a stomach cramp
  4. Moan and wail
    While you're bent over
  5. Lick your palms
    It's a little childish and stupid, but, then, so is high school.
  6. -
  7. Life moves pretty fast.
  8. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.