THINGS I DO NOT HAVE

What don't you have?
  1. Student loan debt
  2. Plants
    Too much responsibility
  3. Pets
    Fuck poop and litter boxes
  4. A mortgage
    I rent a house
  5. A car payment
    I lease a Prius
  6. Credit card debt
    Credit cards are evil
  7. Knick knacks
    Too clutter-y
  8. Cable TV
    Apple TV and Netflix FTW
  9. A land line
  10. A lawn I need to mow
    It's all leaves and pine needles and it's sublime
  11. A boss
    Self-employed since 1997, baby
  12. Phobias
  13. A boat
  14. A summer home
  15. Lots of pairs of shoes
  16. Tattoos
  17. Piercings
  18. VD
  19. Magazine subscriptions
  20. Living grandparents
  21. Enough beer
  22. More than three cell phone bars at my house
  23. Grudges
  24. Collections
    Unless books count