THINGS I GOT WRONG WITH MY EX-GIRLFRIEND THAT I HOPE TO GET RIGHT NEXT TIME :(

Yeah, I'm in that place. But there's always tomorrow
  1. Advocating for myself
    I have attachment issues going way back. Thus i have a hard time making sure i get what i need. I also excessively caretake and have fears of abandonment.
  2. Making clear what i want (and don't) in a relationship from day one
    I should be clear and up front about my needs, showstoppers, baggage and wants. Maybe not spill these all on Date #1, but certainly don't hide them. Be forthwith.
  3. Be less mean, petty and weak
    I was. I'm not proud of it.
  4. Be a better listener
  5. Always try to show your partner as much grace as you can, especially when upset or under pressure
    This can be very hard.
  6. Be more generous and giving
    I feel like I'm pretty generous in some ways, but i could do better. Like my ex helped me move and i didn't help her move. Dick move (pun intended), eh?
  7. Know your strengths and weaknesses
    Take advantage of strengths. Work on weaknesses.
  8. Know when to problem solve and when to just be supportive
    This is not intuitive/internalized for me. But it is a skill you can practice and get better at.
  9. Express your feelings. Every day. Often.
    Also practice KNOWING what you feel. Being able to identify your feelings.
  10. Talk about behaviors, not people.
    "When you ate my broccoli, it made me sad." Not "You are a bad person because you ate my broccoli." It matters.
  11. Don't generalize or say ALWAYS or NEVER
    Be specific!
  12. Say thank you as much as you can
    We underestimate the power of THANK YOU. Hey, thank you for reading my list!!
  13. Assume the best in your partner
    They probably have your best interests in mind more often than you think they do.
  14. If you aren't sure, ASK
    Don't jump to crazy conclusions, dickhead!
  15. Communicate clearly
    Especially about to do lists, appointments, dates
  16. Take each other out on regular dates
    Even when you've dated for a long time.
  17. When you make one coffee, actually make two coffees
    It's just nice and thoughtful.
  18. Learn fucking constructive conflict resolution skills, dude
  19. Be respectful
  20. Don't save up a big list of grievances
    If you feel hurt, say so right then.
  21. Get her a kitten
    In my case, it might have actually helped. ;) Ok not really. :(
  22. When it's over, it's over
    Don't fight it. Sometimes, breaking up is the best thing to do, even if there are still some wonderful comfortable good parts left.
  23. When you need it, seek professional help
    Everyone can use a good dose of counseling from time to time.