Universal truths about online dating 😒
I've been doing it for six years so i am an expert. And of course I'm not a perfect date either. Also: I am grouchy about dating just now so cut me some slack. 😘
- •People don't seem to get or care what makes a good online dating photoBad lighting, bad angles, cropped in a weird way, not smiling, crass, too revealing, shooting guns (wha?)
- •Everyone is lying about somethingAnd usually something important. Age. Children. Divorce status. Financial solvency. Arrest record. What they are looking for.
- •Everyone seems super stressed outWhy are we all so stressed approximately all of the time that we are awake?
- •Regardless how much you like someone after the first date, you are supposed to act casual about the person and not text them until several days afterFuck that, though; if I like someone, I text them as I'm getting in my car after date 1
- •No one can put away their smart phone for like even just a couple goddam hoursOur smart phone addiction is srsly worse than the opioid epidemic
- •Everyone has tattoosWhen did every single human go to the tattoo parlor?
- •People really enjoy talking about themselves before almost any other topic including the person they are on a date withTry asking me a question. About me.
- •Your first impression of someone is always spot onIf you are getting a bad vibe after date 1, runaway, runaway fast and never look back
- •A lot of people see dating as nothing more than an ego boost and really aren't interested in meeting people to build a life with, even in the short term
- •People seem to have universally short attention spans / are very easily distractedAnd are very interested in pop culture and soundbite news headlines, but nothing much deeper than that
- •People like to think of themselves as book readers even though they aren't reading books nowThat book you read that one time back in college doesn't make you a "reader" or "book lover"
- •Using good grammar is either a rare skill or a skill most people are in too much of a hurry to pay much attention to
- •If your initial online dating profile photo is not a photo of a person, you are a douche bag
- •Ok 👋🏻