YOU ARE STANDING IN A DANK, TORCH-LIT CAVERN

In the middle of the cavern is a small cage wrought with thick, iron bars. There is a wild boar in the cage. Water is dripping somewhere. You are wearing an iridescent jumpsuit. Tunnels run E and W.
  1. If you examine the wild boar, turn to list 272
  2. If you remove your jumpsuit, turn to list 1503
  3. If you go east, turn to list 71
  4. If you trot off to the west, howling like a mad person, turn to list 3
  5. If you investigate the source of the dripping water, turn to list 64
  6. If you pry open the iron bars, turn to list 2225
  7. If you attempt to take one of the torches, turn to list 555
  8. If you dance and sing as if it is your last day on this earth, turn to list 764
  9. If you soil your undergarments, turn to list 907
  10. If you do nothing,