REASONS MY FAMILY IS FILING FOR BANKRUPTCY

A truly sad day for the Kennedy clan. Let's see how they recover...
  1. My parents spent their entire savings on buying Instagram Followers
    They'll tell you it was because they had to pay for our college tuition's but don't believe them. My parents were busy buying followers and likes to up their Instagram Game, while me and my siblings were in the forest, sleeping in deer carcasses for warmth.
  2. Having to bail me out of prison so many times has set me back a penny.
    I have been sent to prison 8 times during my High School career (so far 😎). This is mostly because of my serial loitering outside of local convenience stores. I've been arrested for burning down every advertisement in town in protest of corporate America.
  3. Filing for Bankruptcy was simply the only way to go
    No matter how many times they sent my siblings out on the cold streets to hustle some cash, no matter how many couch cushions we looked between, the Kennedy family simply has not been able to scrounge up the cash to not be broke anymore.
  4. I stole my dad's credit card to pay a guy who claimed he could bring the dog that played Air Bud and Comet from Full House back to life
    So this ended up being a huge scam, but I would never be able to forgive myself if I didn't take the chance...