Sure, you've heard of the founding fathers of America, but they've got nothing on the founding fathers of the Kennedy family! Without them, there would be no Chris Kennedy.
  1. Tybalt Kennedy (circa 1200s)
    My great-great-great-great- grandfather was the first ever Kennedy. He decided he wanted to be the head of his very own family so he changed his name to Kennedy and married a fair maiden for the price of three Cows. They had 14 kids and all but one died during infancy. Still, Tybalt's influence set the tone for what was to come in the Kennedy family.
  2. Cassius Kennedy (circa 1200s)
    Cassius was the only child of Tybalt and Adelaide to survive past infancy. He gets extra points for this. He's not number one on this list because he married his cousin later on.
  3. Barnaby Kennedy (Renaissance Era)
    Ah, the Renaissance. A fantastic time for art, science and progressive thinking in general. Great-great-great-great Uncle Barnaby gets on this list for his contributions to the ever growing astronomy scene going on at the time. He was arrested for his theory of Pluto-centrism, the belief that the universe revolves around Pluto. All Kennedys believe this theory to this day and we are all also arrested for promoting it.
  4. Francis Anthony Kennedy III (1613-1654)
    The very first Kennedy to sail to America. Francis and his family sailed to America to escape the religious persecution going on in England. After being thrown in prison for being a Scientologist for the third time, he had had enough and decided to leave and create a colony in Virginia. After much hardship on the journey across the Atlantic, every single would-be colonist was slaughtered by a Native American tribe. They probably deserved it, but without Francis, I wouldn't be an American.
  5. Elizabeth Kennedy (1400s)
    She actually sailed across the ocean blue with Christopher Columbus. We've since discovered that Christopher Columbus isn't a good person like at all. However, Elizabeth was the only person to raise concerns over the slaughtering of the native people. So good for her.
  6. Frederick Kennedy (1700s)
    My great great great great weird Uncle Frederick actually invented the concept of "Tarring and Feathering" someone when you don't agree with their opinions. Frederick tarred and feathered an old man who insulted his shoe buckle. And the rest, as they say, was history.