My 2016 recap/asinine comments

I come from a special breed of human, 1 part good nature. 1 part asshole. 2 parts annoyed toilet talk and 3 parts jackie Chan confused face. mix with vodka and poured over ice. serve with 1 cherry and a fresh Tabasco pepper.
  1. The year began when a gorilla was gunned down because a parent chose not to use a child leash....the fact a child leash could have saved a life, come on people!
  2. Deadpool was the best romantic comedy of the year....well, that part is awesome!
  3. We had a Harry Potter movie without harry potter and it was good. I'm confused by this strategy. Just wait....
  4. We had a star wars movie without Luke Skywalker. We are literally filling the gaps....
  5. The classic Nintendo platform is selling better than a gen 1 console and Mario is now on smartphones....unless you don't have an apple phone cause they suck!
  6. A dude won a boxing match vs a kangaroo while dressed like Dawson from Dawson's creek. In all fairness, he was saving a dog.
  7. Donald Trump
  8. Somehow this man won the 2016 presidential election. Here are the people we can blame for this.
    The liberal media, the conservative media, facebook, twitter, emotions, fear mongering, the Russians, the Martians, the Antarcticans, the banshee queen Sylvanas, Sephiroth, cathulu's horde, Hitler and Stalin. I'd blame North Korea....but that would be false accusations!
  9. People I want to thank for making the year better.
    Deadpool The nat that lives in my car The kangaroo that was punched for not suing the frat guy from alpha house. And my colon, for keeping me regular for at least 1 more year.
  10. And lastly. My hope for 2017
    That Donald Trump hires Michael Bay to do ALL White House media. I'm talking press coverage, state of the unions, everything. I want lens flares and expolsions. The presidential limo needs to be turned into Optimus Prime and I better see a star ship real soon!
  11. Later dudes and dudettes and all other "identified" beings out there.