A GIRLFRIEND'S GUIDE TO STAR WARS

Just had a marathon. Whew! I'm watching the new one tomorrow too, so from a girlfriend to another girlfriend, here's what I got. Inspired by @originalamericantrt
  1. Everyone hates Jar Jar Binks, so we do too.
  2. Jango Fett: #1 single dad.
    He wanted a baby so bad he cloned himself and taught him to be a bounty hunter. Aww!
  3. Leia kissed Luke like a few times pre-"she's your sister"
  4. Chewie gets yelled at by Han. A lot.
  5. Ewoks are cute.
  6. Anakin rolls around in the grass with Natalie Portman and she gets pregnant.
    With twins. Ohhhh. Anikan... you are the father!!!
  7. Darth Vadar is just Anakin, but burned up without any limbs and most likely suffering a severe respiratory infection.
  8. Force fields aren't that big of a threat.
  9. Princess Leia maintains her resting bitch face.
  10. Han and Leia start hooking up, but are only turned on by yelling at each other.
  11. Episode 1-3: Yoda is calm, agile, and badass.
  12. Episode 4-6: Yoda is wise, but has definitely lost his marbles over the years. He also chills/dies in a swamp now.
  13. Something else probably happened, but I was snacking.