1. Foot cramps
    The pleasure is not worth the pain.
  2. Bloody nose
    Really sorry for you, but we can't go on like this.
  3. Getting concussed (if you're about this life)
    You may hit my head against the wall and or headboard, you may not crack my skull.
  4. Condom breaking
    If we're still in the clear and your men are still aboard the ship please do not unnecessarily freak me out.
  5. Contraception failure
    Love is paying for her plan b, so is general kindness. She's already going to be nauseous for at least 24 hours, does she really have to pay $50 to do so?
  6. The "Ooops"
    Get it together. Aim to always win the Super Bowl of the "pull-out" game.
  7. Saying the wrong name
    Why God... And while we're here, don't say God either, how about you just don't say a name at all in this case.
  8. Getting walked in on
    I can't tell who this is most awkward for.