THINGS THAT ARE BITTERSWEET

  1. Tuna Salad
    Mayo.
  2. Vyvanse
    Thank you for making me feel like I can do anything, but also f*** you for making me feel so inadequate.
  3. Food Poisoning
    No need to be graphic.
  4. Dark Chocolate
    Literally.
  5. Having too many plans
    Feeling oh so popular yet overwhelmed because you can only attend one event, and realistically don't want to attend any.
  6. Not having any plans
    Time for Netflix and quality time on the couch!...with plenty of opportunity to evaluate why no one wants to spend time with you.
  7. Mom doing your laundry
    Yes I'm so grateful you do my laundry and when I complain I fully prepare for the "then do it yourself" response, which I don't want to do. Nonetheless please understand that dry clean only means dry clean only.
  8. Drinking large sums of water
    The 'cleansed' feeling it gives you, but also the constant and inconvenient need to cleanse oneself (aka pee).