Places I Don't Want to Find a Body

  1. In a dumpster
  2. In pieces inside a trash bag on the side of the road when my car breaks down
  3. 500 yards from the trail when I sneak off to find a private place to pee while hiking
  4. 500 yards from my campsite when I sneak off to pee in the middle of the night
  5. Staring up at me from empty, fish-nibbled eye sockets at the bottom of a stream while kayaking
  6. In anyone's freezer
  7. Inside a mysterious old trunk in anyone's attic
  8. At the bottom of the cucumber patch
  9. Under my bed
  10. Within 15 ft of a butcher shop