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- •You're the last living soul during a zombie apocalypse.
- •Your girlfriend just dumped you.
- •National Drink Alone Day
- •Miss Hathaway catches the bridal bouquet at Ellie May and Jethro's wedding.
- •You actually see Radar's fingerless hand.
- •Jan learns a valuable lesson after burning the Brady house to the ground.
- •LITHUANIA: The bride and groom are not officially proclaimed married until the lighting of the ceremonial potato pancake.
- •PORTUGAL: Congratulations to the mother of the bride is expressed by two squeezes of her left breast with a hearty "Olp, Olp!" ("Honk, Honk!")
- •UKRAINE: Among the most solemn moments of the ceremony is Procession of Guests Who Slept with the Bride.
- •A broken pair of sunglasses
- •Little River Band cassette
- •A fake mustache
- •Go to a clinic.
- •Call it an STD. It's 2016 already.
- •Scratch it like you're playing a daily lotto.
- •It's a new dawn.
- •The Onion, McSweeney's, and Jo-Ann Fabrics do it.
- •Works better when toe-texting.
- •I'm stuck in rush hour.
- •I'm in a job interview.
- •I'm in a hot air balloon.
For a limited time only!
- •Stay Puft Marshmallow Man / Hitler
- •Blue M&M / Kony 2012
- •Melania Trump / Donald Trump