5 Boys I Thought I Liked But It Turns Out I Was Wrong

Alternative title: the last 12 months of my romantic efforts summarized in chronological order.
  1. The pizza boy who turned out to be way too old
    And also said very offensive things about Catholicism. I still don't eat pizza from the cafeteria.
  2. The half Japanese boy whose birthday is on Christmas Eve
    I was THIS close to telling him he was cute via his FaceBook wall this Christmas Eve but I managed to talk myself out of it. Then last month, he made a very classist statement about McDonald's target market in my Consumer Behavior class.
  3. The half... idk what he is I've been told it a million times, I think German-Japanese... ROTC cadet who wants to be a priest and has real big ears
    I was like "precious baby" but then he was quoted in the school paper supporting Trump and I was "nvm we gotta break up" but obviously I was being crazy from the beginning because I knew all along he's going to be a priest.
  4. The half Chinese engineering major who keeps basketball shoes in his car
    LISTEN it was a long 20 hours okay. But then I was like lol this gives me anxiety
  5. The non practicing Jewish boy I was supposed to hang out with around Thanksgiving
    I was pretending I was waiting for the timing to be right but it turns out I wasn't really interested lol I had no idea