5 Boys I Thought I Liked But It Turns Out I Was Wrong
Alternative title: the last 12 months of my romantic efforts summarized in chronological order.
- •The pizza boy who turned out to be way too oldAnd also said very offensive things about Catholicism. I still don't eat pizza from the cafeteria.
- •The half Japanese boy whose birthday is on Christmas EveI was THIS close to telling him he was cute via his FaceBook wall this Christmas Eve but I managed to talk myself out of it. Then last month, he made a very classist statement about McDonald's target market in my Consumer Behavior class.
- •The half... idk what he is I've been told it a million times, I think German-Japanese... ROTC cadet who wants to be a priest and has real big earsI was like "precious baby" but then he was quoted in the school paper supporting Trump and I was "nvm we gotta break up" but obviously I was being crazy from the beginning because I knew all along he's going to be a priest.
- •The half Chinese engineering major who keeps basketball shoes in his carLISTEN it was a long 20 hours okay. But then I was like lol this gives me anxiety
- •The non practicing Jewish boy I was supposed to hang out with around ThanksgivingI was pretending I was waiting for the timing to be right but it turns out I wasn't really interested lol I had no idea