NASA Says We'll Find Aliens in the Next Decade. How Are They so Sure?

NASA recently conducted a public panel where they presented some surprisingly compelling arguments for existence of aliens, and the fact that we'll find them. Check out some quotes from the panel below.
  1. "There is no way I've devoted my life to a fantasy" -NASA Chief Scientist Carol Patterson
    "I have multiple degrees from the world's top universities. I'm not some child imagining a kingdom of magic and wonder... Right? I just can't be."
  2. "I have to fit in somewhere" -Director of Heliophysics Stanley Walsh
    "I've struck out on earth, so where else could I fit in?! I've also struck out under the sea."
  3. "Neil Armstrong said he didn't finish all the astronaut ice cream, aliens did" -Astronaut Buzz Aldrin
    "Neil's so smart and cool"
  4. "If aliens don't exist, who have a been writing all these letter too?!" -Senior Astrophysicist Angela Keane
    "And no, I haven't gotten any letters back, but that doesn't mean there aren't aliens! It just means they do t have as advanced of a postal system as us. Which is fine. I'll teach them. I'll teach them so much.
  5. "There is evidence of water on other planets" -Head of Planetary Science Frank Harris
    "And if we find water, there's bound to be some bacteria or microorganisms in there and bam! That counts! You can't take that away from us just because they aren't exciting or visible."
  6. If you believe in something long enough and hard enough, it will come true" -Deputy Chief Hydroelectric Engineer Douglass Brenner
    "At least it will be true in our hearts. And if aliens are alive in our hearts, doesn't that mean they are really and truly alive? (Please let us have this)"