Texts I would love to receive

Preferably between 10 a.m and 9 p.m
  1. β€’
    I ordered too many Buffalo Wings. You want some?
    Even if I would feel concerned by someone who think there's such a thing as too many buffalo wings.
  2. β€’
    Hi Claudia. We accidentally credited your account with 1 million dollar. To show you how sorry we are, we credited one more million dollar. Please excuse us. Sincerely, Chase bank.
    Apologies accepted.
  3. β€’
    My place is easy to find, I live just above a bagel shop.
    He's the one.
  4. β€’
    Hi Claudia, it's your son (cat), Kingsley. Yes, I can text now so I will text you all day long to inform you what's happening at home. Also, I will send you cute selfies of me making silly faces. I hope your coworkers will enjoy it.
    He finally learned!
  5. β€’
    No, I don't have a criminal record, stop asking pls.
    Gotta be sure!
  6. β€’
  7. β€’
    Oh my god, there're kittens dancing with baby sloths in your room. Come quick. PS: they poop all over the place.
    But the cuteness though...
  8. β€’
    I don't fully understand what you mean but I'm into it.
  9. β€’
    I love you more than Nebraska loves football.
    True love.
  10. β€’
    You are hired.
    a. Signed: Lorne Michaels. b. Signed: HBO