As my last list reveals, I like to tell white lies. But there are some days where instead of white lies, I tell extremely inappropriate truths.
  1. "I like turtlenecks because they cover up the rash on my neck."
  2. "I'm mostly attracted to older men. Like really old."
  3. "Today I peed so hard it was frothy enough to make a latte"
  4. "I don't think I've clipped my toenails in months"
  5. "I kind of like the way my BO smells."
  6. "I'll probably wear these jeans like two more times before I wash them."
  7. "Honestly if I'm mean to you I'm probably hitting on you"
  8. "Whenever I think about the human body I immediately take a shower"