The struggle is so real.
  1. Friends always think they’re the first one to suggest you just take your meals intravenously.
  2. Snippy waiters are your one true nemesis…and yet, night after night, you press your bodies together in desperate congress.
  3. Rather than deal with cafeteria food, it was always just easier to gnaw off part of your hand.
  4. Bread is pathetic.
  5. You’ve resigned yourself to picking all the salt out of your food for the rest of your life.
  6. You always feel bad when restaurants get your order wrong and you have to storm into the back howling, “Shit kitchen! Shit kitchen!”
  7. Nothing beats the thrill of finding one animal you like and eating it to extinction.