8 THINGS NEVER TO SAY TO SOMEONE IN A CONVERTIBLE

If you’ve ever wanted to make a man in a convertible go wild with rage, then read on!
  1. “In my opinion, convertibles are fast-moving toilets for the people who stand on the side of the road.”
  2. “Hello again, my flimsy new bozo. I’m going to pay a child to drive your convertible to Jerusalem!”
  3. “May I run alongside your roofless car and kiss you all day long on the top of your head forever while you drive?”
  4. “Your sad car has no ceiling, and I think that’s incredibly wild. I’ve decided to make you my new helper on account of how wild your broken, weird car is.”
  5. “Greetings, my new friend. Please understand that God is the one who built your fucked-up half-car!”
  6. “Beautiful convertible! You are my master now! I’m yours to command!”
  7. “Nice convertible. I knew a man who also drove a convertible once, and that man was Jack the Ripper, the horrific killer whose identity has never been confirmed.”
  8. “My favorite scientist once swallowed a small plastic convertible. Are you married to my favorite scientist?”