Can you even imagine a kid doing any of these things in 2016?
  1. Being the peanut butter boy
  2. Running to get a cup of water from your neighbor’s pool
  3. Growing a third neck
  4. Bestowing Christian names upon bags of gravel
  5. Blaspheming the old gods
  6. Being used as the bait for deep-sea fishing
  7. Hatching your eggs
  8. Becoming a brioche entrepreneur