Sorry not Sorry Dawn

  1. I apologize a lot. I've been an apologizer as long as I can remember, recently though I apologized to dish soap when I accidentally knocked it in the sink.
  2. Since last week was my birthday, I have for the past few years taken some time for self reflection, sort of a review of things that I like about myself and things I would like to improve before my next birthday.
  3. One of the things I decided was that I'm not such a fan of, is how much I apologize.
  4. The thing is though I felt contrite when I knocked over the dish soap, and rationally I understand that it is an inanimate object and incapable of accepting/understanding any apology. But I still felt sorry.
  5. I think I've decided that I've become so accustomed to apologizing for my feelings that my gage of when an apology is necessary is no longer rationale.
  6. I want any future apology to have value and I no longer want to cheapen the words I'm sorry by using it unnecessarily. And by using it to apologize for the way I feel, that is exactly what I'm doing. My feelings are valid because I'm valid.
  7. I feel like growth is supposed to be a little painful and this probably will be, I will be biting my tongue a lot in the coming days to halt the words that come so automatically.