CHRISTMAS ICONS I WOULD TEAM UP WITH TO TAKE DOWN MACKENZIE
My @mackenzieo is getting too big from her britches and needs to be taken down, Christmas style
- •Hermey the ElfHe's scrappy. He's small. He's got something to prove. I could easily goad him into fighting by attacking his validity as an elf and telling him Mac thinks it's pathetic that he doesn't like to make toys. Hermey is an ideal partner because he functions as both an ally and a weapon. I imagine his fighting style to be similar to that of an angry raccoon and after launching him at MacKenzie he would serve as distraction while I took her out. After our victory I'd take him for hot chocolate.
- •Mariah CareyChristmas is nothing without All I Want For Christmas is You. I tell Mariah that MacKenzie thinks Taylor Swift should cover the song, and would do it better. Mariah dazzles MacKenzie with a spell binding performance. I take her out just after the final note.
- •Jack FrostJack knows he's my favorite nature spirit, and after all my prayers and sacrifices to him why wouldn't he lend me a hand in destroying my sister? He uses his powers to help me recreate the ending of Frozen, freezing Mac and letting me save her with my sisterly love, reminding her that family comes first and no one will love her as much as I do. We have a good laugh afterward and Jack teaches us to ice skate. I ask him if he wants to hang out later and he asks me to please get a grip.
- •Ebenezer ScroogeHe's a cranky old man. I'm a cranky old man at heart. I take Mac to his house and challenge her to turn his heart from Christmas-hating darkness. She succeeds because part way through Eb and I realize that the Christmas spirit is a special magic that we shouldn't repress or squander. Mac thinks she's won, until we task her with helping us find Christmas presents for all of the acquaintances we've alienated over the years. The task is exhausting. I am victorious.
- •Buddy the ElfHe's a lover, not a fighter, but I tell him my motives and he agrees to be my ally in a snowball fight against MacKenzie and all of Santa's reindeer. The reindeer are sturdy and difficult to take down, but Buddy hurls snowballs like a machine gun and their team flounders when MacKenzie realizes that she's the only one on her team capable of making and throwing the snowballs. She rides Blitzen into battle like a beautiful elf princess but gets knocked flat by a snowball straight to the chest.
- •Arthur ChristmasI try to explain to him that we are going to fight MacKenzie, but he's too pure and he doesn't understand. His innocence and endearing attempts to fathom my desire to hurt my sister make me question myself. I begin to regret ever wanting to take her down. Arthur suggests we make a gingerbread house and talk about what we want for Christmas. At his insistence, I invite MacKenzie. We have a lovely time. Arthur gives us sweaters to wear and we both fall in love with him.
- •Stand by these