Requested by MacKenzie

I name my only child Panthy and you have to take him to work with you, REACT

  1. It's morning. I am woken by the uncanny sensation of eyes upon me. I sit up to see a small child in my doorway, his face impassive.
  2. I try to smile at his wide, empty eyes as a chill goes down my spine.
  3. "Good morning, Panthy." I say, furiously texting you beneath the covers, YOU CANNOT JUST DROP HIM OFF.
  4. You send me back the creepy winking tongue out emoji with a picture of the plane you are planning to board momentarily.
  5. I sigh, muttering "not again."
  6. I look up from my phone to see Panthy at my bedside. I did not hear him walk into the room.
  7. Are you excited to come to work with me? I ask, rolling out of bed and walking away from him. He follows.
  8. We go downstairs and I prepare him his favorite breakfast of waffles with no syrup. He is already dressed in a grey child-sized suit and while he eats I get him a t shirt to put on so I can bear taking him outside.
  9. I tell him it's time to go and he doesn't move. I remember the only way I've found to summon him and go to the car to solemnly sing "oh Panthy boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling..."
  10. He comes outside and gets in the car.
  11. We arrive at my office and he sits beneath my desk. I give him the Lion King action figures I keep in my desk drawers specifically for his visits. I try to focus on work as plastic lions are continually made to run up and down my shins, because it was long ago established that my knee is Pride Rock.
  12. When I hear the muted sound effects of Scar's death and Simba's triumphant roars, I ask Panthy if he would like to go to lunch.
  13. I get him Mac and cheese from Panera and we sit in a nearby park to enjoy our food. An unnatural amount of small rodents and birds congregate around us. I see Panthy smile for the first time that day.
  14. I open my phone and see you have posted a photo on Facebook. It is you, smiling broadly in front of Rockefeller Center.
  15. You've captioned it "Pitching my show to NBC today!"
  16. You are dressed like Liz Lemon, and your brown wig has slid back on your forehead to reveal your blonde hair. I tell Panthy he will be spending the night at my house.
  17. He asks me, when will mother return?
  18. I just don't know, Panthy. I don't know.
  19. We return to my office and Panthy practices writing his name at my desk while I meet with clients. My clients are excited to see him, but I know he resents them for calling him 'Pansy.'
  20. One of my clients sees him and her smile fades. "Mom on the run again?" She says to me. I nod.
  21. She gives Panthy a bag of gummies from the vending machine. He organizes them by color, then steadily pushes each line off of the desk and into the trash can.
  22. By 3 o'clock he is tired, and climbs onto my back to take a nap. I must carry him around like a sloth baby for the rest of my workday. My boss has nicknamed this phenomenon my "Panthy-site." I am forced to stand during our afternoon meeting.
  23. We return home after work and Panthy gets out a puzzle. He begins to put it together upside down.
  24. I turn on the news to see your face, your brown wig gone, scripts in your hands and a maniac smile on your face.
  25. The scrolling bar reads "Woman causes disruption at Rockefeller Center, demands marriage to Kenneth the Page."
  26. I tell Panthy you will be home tomorrow. He is happy.
  27. When he smiles I discover he has been hiding a lizard in his mouth since lunch.