My Descent Into Frapuccino Hell

I do not know how to spell it
  1. Coffee has always been that shady bastard on the street corner telling me to just try it
    Just one taste, I'll even discount it
  2. But I have said no every time it tried to get me, cause when you're the kind of person who can confidently say you have an addiction prone personality, you don't fuck with addictive shit
  3. But then one day...
  4. My workplace is a basement gym that maintains a cool 85.3 degrees (I know this because we have to record it every day) and with the humidity can reach 102 degrees. It was one of those days
  5. I was working a 5:30 am shift that was going to last 11 hours, and it was 9 when my coworker came in with Starbucks
  6. I had been considering getting my standby pick-me-up from the semester, an Irish breakfast tea from the cafe nearby, but tea is hot and I was hot and she walked in with like, basically a milkshake
  7. So I casually went to the Starbucks website, wondering what the calorie content was, and if it could be made without milk...
    And I know they do soy milk but too much of that gives me a tummy ache so I wasn't thinking I'd actually go for it
  8. And then the seedy bastard on the street corner got me, got me with the coconut milk
  9. What could go wrong, I thought. This will be fine, I thought.
  10. So I got a Java chip frappawhatever
  11. And it
  12. Was
  13. Heavenly
  14. I never had such a productive day of work in my life. I had to leave my desk and walk some laps around the building just to shake off the jitters
  15. The next day, 5am, 11 hours, I got another one
  16. And the next day
  17. And on that same day I went to a DIFFERENT STARBUCKS LATER IN THE DAY TO GET ANOTHER ONE
  18. Then I managed a day without one
  19. But the next day I was back at it, at 7 at night no less
  20. And today here I am... Having gone to yet ANOTHER. DIFFERENT. STARBUCKS.
  21. To hide my shame
  22. So much shame
  23. Don't look at me