MY FAVORITE CHAOS GODS

Tell tale signs: some kind of magic, elaborate schemes, one or more underlings/side kicks, will watch you die with laughter in their eyes
  1. The Cat in the Hat
    He is summoned by boredom, and cures it by presenting his unlucky new friends with a series of extreme challenges that place their lives and property at risk. He delights in watching them solve these problems, and will actively increase the complexity as his victim nears the answer. His minions are unbridled catastrophes and his powers of reality bending are apparently unlimited. 10/10 excellent chaos God
  2. Mrs. Frizzle
    Earns the loyalty and trust of her students and then uses it to take them on dangerous excursions. She is a devoted teacher but allows the children to run wild where ever she takes them and sits back to watch the show unfold. She rarely intervenes, only helps when specifically asked, and is blindly optimistic to foster a sense of security. Her sentient bus sidekick is slightly more helpful, but mostly does her bidding and relies on instruction. 9/10 very good chaos God
  3. Peter Pan
    A demonic small child oblivious to anyone's needs but his own, Peter Pan is nothing but chaos. Don't let the cartoon elf fool you (cause that's exactly what he wants). Peter is ruthless, he does whatever he wants, and your pain and suffering is just entertainment for him. His sidekick is enamored with him, which creates a dangerous situation for anyone Peter takes shine to. Tink will let you fall, Peter will think it's funny to catch you at the last second... if he catches you at all. 10/10
  4. Dionysus
    OG literal chaos God. Dionysus will fuck you up. If you want him to stop you have to make sacrifices to him, but he might ignore those. With all the godly magic of an Olympian and centuries of practice, he is the most formidable on this list. 10/10 classic chaos God
  5. Jack Frost
    To be up front JF makes this list not because of his actions but because of his potential. He has the power, beauty, and rage of winter inside him and if you don't think a blizzard is chaotic you have too much faith in his humanity. Jack makes the list because the weather doesn't give a damn about you, or your commute, or your soccer game, or your house. It does what it wants, be it malicious or benevolent, and as the God of winter Jack is inherently chaotic. 7/10 (b/c you could argue this one)
  6. Pippi Longstocking
    Pippi is a free spirit. She doesn't want to hurt anyone but she will resist anyone trying to bring order to her life. She isn't chaotic when left alone but becomes a tornado of havoc if forced beneath authority. She is sweet in her own way but doesn't grasp the limitations of those around her and quickly loses herself in her own head. She doesn't mean to be chaotic but she just is. 10/10 ily Pippi