REASONS I HATE HORSES

Buckle up
  1. They're too big
    I respect their majesty but I don't think we should regularly interact with them. Like elephants
  2. "Horse girls"
    I find it extremely suspicious that a large portion of the population of young women in the world experience an unexplained infatuation with horses
  3. I just want to run
    My favorite running trails are littered with piles of horse poop. Also if you encounter a horse on the trail you have to stop completely and move away because this "tame" MONSTER might kick you and consequently you will be dead
  4. They're dragons
    1. Bigger than us 2. Faster than us 3. We ride on their backs 4. Breathe fire???? 5. Quietly plotting a revolt against which we will be powerless
  5. Skeleton horses
    Too cool. With flame flaring from their nostrils and decayed bits of flesh hanging from their bones. Thundering down country lanes in the night. Unstoppable. Pull the chariots of demons and villains.
  6. Horse shows and races
    The horses are doing all the work. The rider is getting all of the credit. No species takes such injustice quietly
  7. They're coming for us
    Just like every other creature capable of a stampede