WHY KROGER IS THE SHIT

So glad we live next door to each other 💁🏼
  1. I am but a plucky youngster striking off on my own, trying to find a place in this crazy, mixed up world
  2. And who should find me... Lost, hungry, uncertain...
  3. The loving arms of the humble Kroger
    Not even the Gucci one on South Main. The "first Kroger in town dammit" Kroger
  4. It was inevitable that we'd find each other. Kroger is a stone's throw from my front door. Of course I'd be going there
  5. But never in my wildest dreams did I prepare for the relationship that was to grow
    Yes grocery stores are in my wildest dreams
  6. It started slow. I got myself a Kroger card. Started earning "fuel points." Scored your typical grocery store deals
  7. Then I find that Kroger lets me sync my card to my beloved team's fundraising account. Me buying food gives my team money??? Hell yes
  8. I go online and find that not only does Kroger have deals in stores, they have online coupons too
  9. And wait... What the... What the FUCK CLICKING THAT LITTLE BUTTON LOADS THE COUPON TO MY CARD???
  10. I DONT HAVE TO CLIP COUPONS LIKE A GODDAMN GRANDMOTHER??
    I never clipped coupons anyway but I always thought I SHOULD, y'know?
  11. I GO INTO THE STORE, SWIPE MY LIL CARD AT CHECKOUT AND IT KNOWS IVE GOT COUPONS ON THERE I DONT EVEN HAVE TO CLICK ANYTHING HOLY SHITTT
  12. And that's the tip of the fucking iceberg
  13. Peepin the freezer section and there are frozen bags of vegetables... Ok...
  14. Oh snap, they're a dollar? They're ALL a dollar? And there's actually stuff in them!?!? Not just air!?!?
  15. And Kroger cares about me they know I don't know how to take care of myself
  16. These one dollar bags of vegetables aren't just a single vegetable they're BLENDS
    Mexican, Italian, California, like three or four kinds of stir fry blends, some come with beans and vegetables, some come with rice or noodles and vegetables, some you don't even have to cook YOU JUST MICROWAVE THE DAMN BAG
  17. All for a dollar??? YESSS
    And I am telling you, it's not crap food. Delicious actual vegetables that are so easy to toss in a skillet
  18. Buy yourself a few bags of vegetables and some spices and wowie zowie cowboy, look at you cookin up some grown up food
  19. Getting those vitamins and minerals
  20. And that's not the only great thing Kroger has! Kroger brand anything is AWESOME
  21. Even the $1 tortilla chips are tasty
  22. And their fresh produce is always quality, always a huge selection, always running sales
  23. I LOVE KROGER OKAY??
  24. YESTERDAY I PAID $1.29/ gallon FOR GAS
  25. TONIGHT I MADE A TACO BOWL WITH BROCCOLI, CAULIFLOWER, PEPPERS, CORN, RICE, AND SALSA AND ATE IT WITH CHIPS AND GUESS WHAT THAT DELICIOUS MEAL COST ME
  26. LIKE MAYBE $0.75
    CAUSE I ONLY USED HALF THE VEGGIE BAG
  27. GUESS HOW LONG IT TOOK TO MAKE
  28. TEN MINUTES BITCH BEAT THAT
  29. I DONT CARE IF EVERY OTHER GROCERY STORE IS THE EXACT SAME
    I'll never leave you Kroger
  30. This has been a Kroger appreciation list.
  31. If you're a "broke college kid" get your ass to Kroger