6-STEP GUIDE TO BEING THE MOST ANNOYING TOURIST

Get your fanny packs ready; we're going on a trip.
  1. 1) Wear the most garish outfit you own so that everyone will know at first glance that you're not a local.
  2. 2) Refuse to learn anything about the culture ahead of time, then demand that everyone else adapt to your needs.
  3. Sorry but we don't drive on this side of the road in AMERICA.
  4. In AMERICA, this would be an AMERICAN flag!
  5. 3) Increase your volume to compensate for the fact that you don't speak the language.
  6. WHERE IS THE NEAREST HOTEL?
  7. WHERE IS THE NEAREST HOTEL?
  8. 4) Move as slowly and obliviously as possible everywhere you go.
  9. Now that's just beautiful.
  10. 5) Flash Photography. Everywhere. Especially places where it's not allowed. Your photos are more important than anything else.
  11. 6) Return home having learned absolutely nothing of the culture you visited. But at least you have a T-shirt!