MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE PLAYGROUND

  1. 1.
    The Slide
    The very slide that Jimmy Pescatarianism pushed me off of and called me a dick boy. You can't pay for these kind of friends.
  2. 2.
    The Monkey Bars
    One time I fell off these bad boys and Mike Footballs gave me a good old case of Ass Hand Mouth (He put his whole hand in his ass, and then his whole hand in my mouth). Thank god his mom made him hangout with me.
  3. 3.
    The Tunnel
    This magical place is where I shared my first kiss with the one and only Dana Venndiagram. She told me if I told anyone she'd rip my tiny peeper off.
  4. 4.
    The Old Man
    He was so nice to me. Also my second kiss.
  5. 5.
    The Sandbox
    These were the good times. Me and Ethan Macaroninecklace used to play so hard I couldn't tell whether it was blood or milk coming out of my nose.