THINGS I WISH I COULD SAY TO MY DAD
My old man.
- •"Nice shoes."I wish I could lie to the poor guy, but that man wears some bad sneakers.
- •"You can't say that in this restaurant."What does he think this place is, a bike bar? Watch your mouth Daddy-o.
- •"Can I have your croutons?"My dude never eats his croutons. I'd love to ask for them but I'm afraid there's something wrong with them.
- •"What's up Pops?"I called him Pops one time and he popped me right in the damn mouth.
- •"It's pronounced 'window' you fucking idiot."Self-Explanatory
- •"Can I mow the lawn?"Please let me do it one time. I swear I'll do a good job.