How to Get Horny

Sometimes it's hard to be horny
  1. Look at a pound of ground pork
    This is good before a date
  2. Play a bass at guitar center
    Rickenbacker bass 4003
  3. Call Trent Reznor
    Or read read the bible
  4. Piss in a gatorade bottle
    You will be able to fit your dick in the wide top, sorry lady's you are shit out of luck
  5. Go to men's warehouse with a concealed weapon
    Don't buy anything.
  6. Drink a 2 liter of RC cola
    The soft drink Royal Crown Cola
  7. Confront an abuser from your past
    Do it in public, near open ground
  8. Get some material for your act
    So you can get that spot on Carson, then a holding deal, then 13 episodes of a situation comedy. Then work the road, then cruse ships.
  9. Look at a pile of cash
    Crumpled bills on a bed
  10. Drink a glass of piss
    Eat a plate of fat shit.